Your Name is NOT Chicharito: 10/24 in Review

Stoke City 1-2 Manchester United

Manchester United managed to blow another lead on the road, but Mexican fuckstick Javier Hernandez struck his second goal of the day, which proved the winner for the Red Devils. I'm not sure what annoys me more, that he scored two goals, or that he has his nickname on his jersey. He should have to legally change his name, a la Chad Ochocinco, to do that.

Liverpool 2-1 Blackburn

By many accounts, Liverpool dominated large stretches of this match. Of course, it took them three minutes to blow their first lead, on an own goal no less. But hey, three points! Maybe they're out of the bottom three now!

/looks at table

Oh Goddamit!!

Manchester City 0-3 Arsenal

In a match that featured three goals, a saved penalty, a straight red card and 6 yellows, the moment I'll remember the most was when Cesc Fabregas saw a yellow for a poor tackle on Nigel De Jong. Cesc insists he is Not That Kind Of Player, and I'm sure Nigel is bemoaning the inherent danger that all these horrible tackles cause for a player of his skill.

Scottish Soccer Hooligan Weekly:

The first strike in the Old Firm derby goes to Glasgow Rangers, who pulled off a 3-1 victory at Celtic Park, their ninth win from nine matches. The win opened up a three point lead atop the table for the 'Gers.

Spanish Inquisition:

Sevilla, hosting Athletic Bilbao, got two goals apiece from Luis Fabiano and Frederic Kanoute to win 4-3. In the late game, Villareal beat Atletico Madrid 2-0 to pass Barcelona on goal difference for second in La Liga, one point behind Real Madrid.

Insert Cheap Italian Stereotype Here:

In the early games, surprise league leaders Lazio won 2-1 at home against relegation-threatened Cagliari. In the late game, Samuel Eto'o salvaged a 1-1 draw for Inter Milan against Sampdoria, which left them in second place, 4 points behind Lazio. Finishing out Matchday 8 in Serie A will be AC Milan at Napoli on Monday, where a win will bring the Milanese within two points of the league leaders.

Das Boot:

Mainz won their eighth match in nine, 1-0 at Bayer Leverkusen, to re-claim the top spot in the Bundesliga, as Borussia Dortmund missed a penalty and could only muster a stoppage time equalizer at home against Hoffenheim. Die Nullfunfer's lead is two points in front ahead of their head-to-head clash with Dortmund next Sunday.

Bonus Crazy Dutch Result!

PSV Eindhoven, already atop the Eredivisie table and leading Feyenoord Rotterdam 2-0 at halftime and up a man, proceeded to drop eight second-half goals and win by the modest scoreline of 10-0.

Midweek Action:

Carling Cup Round of 16! The most notable matches there are Newcastle hosting Arsenal, and Manchester United hosting Wolves. At least one non-Premier League team will make the quarterfinals, as Championship side Ipswich Town host Northampton Town of League Two.