Oh, no! Bitter beer face!
- Burnley book their place in the Championship playoff final after dispatching Reading at the Madejski, 2-0. [BBC Sport]
- Stevie G named Writers' Player of the Year. [Guardian]
- 'Arry to institute a team-wide alcohol ban following Ledley King's Anchorman-esque drunken antics. [Unprofessional Foul]
- In today's shocking news, Samuel Eto'o is confident his Barca side can beat Athletic Bilbao. [Goal.com]
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