We can finally call off the Code Red! We can go back to living our lives, instead of spending our days shuddering in anticipation of the most important question ever asked in this universe! That question, of course: ZOMG what will happen to David Beckham he really likes Milan but LA wants him back where is he going to be?
That's right, the morons finally have their answer, as the LA Galaxy and AC Milan have come to an agreement that the universally overrated David Beckham will remain in Milan until July, when he will return to the MLS, and then he will pinball back and forth between the teams for the rest of eternity.
And now on to the games.
Premier League:
Sunderland 1-1 Tottenham
Robbie Keane secures the draw in the 89th minute, showing Rafa Benitez that the Irishman can score goals, especially if you ever feel like actually playing him.
FA Cup 5th Round/Quarterfinals:
Fulham 0-4 Manchester United
The Red Devils are going to need a new wing for all the damn trophies they're going to take down this year.
Coventry City 0-2 Chelsea
Chelsea takes down the last non-Premier League side. This year's final is guaranteed to look a lot more traditional than last year's Portsmouth/Cardiff match.
Arsenal 3-0 Burnley
Maybe Arsene can take a day off from whining like a bitch after this win?
Everton 2-1 Middlesbrough
Everton reaches the semifinals for the first time in 14 years, which was coincidentally the last time they won the cup.
The semifinal draw also took place, and Wembley will see Man U take on Everton, while Chelsea will await the winner of the Arsenal/Hull City quarterfinal in ten days or so.
Elsewhere:
In Spain, Barcelona finally stopped hemorrhaging points at the top of their league with a 2-0 win, and were helped by Real Madrid coming up with only one point in their derby with Atletico. Barca's lead inflated back to six points.
In Italy, Inter maintained their lead at seven points as both they and chasing Juventus picked up road wins on Saturday. IN OTHER NEWS BECKHAM OBVIOUSLY PLAYED AWESOME AND IS SUPER HAPPY TO BE STAYING AT MILAN CUZ THEY TOTALLY WON 3-0 ON SUNDAY WHAT A HAPPY FAIRY TALE ENDING ZOMG! (Btw, Milan is 12 points behind their intracity rivals)
Goal Of The Week:
Eduardo scores in the FA Cup 5th Round:
Midweek Action:
Champions League Round of 16 second legs are where it's at this week. Liverpool may be without Fernando Torres, and will be without first leg goal scorer Yossi Benayoun as they try to finish off their 1-0 lead at Anfield against Real Madrid. Chelsea and Arsenal are both going on the road for the second leg with 1-0 leads against Juventus and Roma respectively. Quintuple-aspiring Man U failed to get a goal at Inter Milan, but the score is even with the match at Old Trafford, meaning a tie other than 0-0 eliminates the Red Devils.
In other matches not involving English teams, Bayern Munich takes a 5-0 lead home against Sporting Lisbon, and Barcelona takes their road goal from a 1-1 first leg home against Olympique Lyonnais. The most interesting non-England matchup might be Atletico Madrid at FC Porto, where the score from the first leg was 2-2. Rounding out the final 16, Villareal goes to Greek side Panathinaikos, with the score even at 1 a piece.
Important Advice From Conan O'Brien:
Weekend In Review posts Mondays at 8:15. David Beckhamania should hopefully be over in about ten years.
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