Ok, so the staff of WCS got together and decided to try something new with this post. We came up with a few questions regarding the new MLS season and we're all going to answer them. AT THE SAME TIME. Wait... Well, you know what I mean. Anyway, here we go!
1. How many times can we rip Khano Smith in the preview?
Mathemagician: The possibilities are endless, but I’ll try to keep it to once per question, out of respect for the fact that I don’t have to watch him try to play striker from left midfield anymore.
blastbao: This question is like asking why is the sky blue? Or why do platypus have bills? Is there really an answer?
The Big Bear: Oh, I'd say at least six or seven, which, if you didn't know, is equal to the number of times each game in which he is caught in possession. BA-ZING!
There's one.
2. What team will win the Eastern Conference?
M: As much as I hate Fetus-Face Blanco, I’ll take Chicago.
blast: Hmm... Not to be unoriginal, but if McBride stays healthy I don't see anyone but Chicago winning. Sorry Revs.
BB: Well, that makes a consensus. I say Chicago, too. Isn't it fun to agree about things?
3. What team will finish last in the East?
M: DC United finished awfully last year and I don’t think they’re getting any better.
blast: The East is tough... there are really no weak teams, but I'm going to have to say either DC or, as much as it pains me... the New England Revolution. I think losing Parkhurst is going to be the straw that breaks the camels back. Sorry Revs.
BB: Unfortunately, I have to slot New England in here. Enjoy your season tickets, guys!
4. What team will win the Western Conference?
M: Someone shitty. Seriously, the best team out west lost their best talent and got older (Houston), and the rest of the group is no good to begin with. So…**picks name out of hat** Real Salt Lake.
blast: Khano will lead the Sounders to victory!!! Seriously though, they have a solid team, and don't forget about Freddie Ljungberg. That man has some serious skills, and everyone seems to have forgotten him, maybe due to his injury. I'll have to say he'll make a bigger impact in midfield than Beckham did with LA.
BB: Man, I have no idea. Houston, maybe? This is like picking the prettiest turd in the turd fair.
5. What team will finish last in the West?
blast: For me it's a toss up between San Jose and LA. Both have weaker defenses and really didn't do too much to improve their rosters. Sure San Jose picked up Convey, but if anyone remembers he's not the type of player to score goals in droves.
BB: LA. Quick, name a player on their roster other than Landypants...
Fuck, I forgot about Eddie Lewis. Okay, then besides those two...
NO, DAVID BECKHAM DOES NOT COUNT
6. What team will win the MLS Cup?
M: Columbus gets one for the middle finger.
blast: Hmm... I'm going to go with... Chicago. As long as McBride stays healthy.
BB: Chicago, on the back of Blanco's perfect diving. No splash!
7. Who will be the league's top scorer?
blast: Landycakes, if he comes back pissed off in the way that doesn't hurt him. He'll either have an amazingly good or amazingly bad season.
BB: I'll say former WCIS-endorsed Aston Villa striker Juan Pablo Angel.
8. Who will win the MVP?
blast: I'm going to go with DeRosario. See question 10 for my reason.
BB: Dwayne DeRosario.
9. How will Seattle fare in its first season?
blast: I say they make the playoffs. Good coach, strong team (and bench) and some great standout players. I don't see how they won't be successful.
BB: They should do well. The Sounders have already improved immeasurably by trading Khano away. They have a better roster than past expansion teams, and it can't hurt that the rest of their conference is crap. I say they make the playoffs.
10. What team will be surprisingly good?
blast: Toronto. DeRo will lead them to glory, mark my words. No one will want to play them this year. I'd say they win the East, but you know, Chicago and Columbus are there too.
BB: Make it three for Toronto. San Jose could surprise some people as well. You can't discount English Legend Darren Huckerby. When you go on the internet, he is a terrific star.
11. What team will be surprisingly bad?
blast: New England Revolution. Painful Painful Painful. Their stars are getting older and I don't think anyone will be able to replace Parkhurst. With him gone, maybe people will finally start to give him credit. Plus, if Ralston gets injured they're done. Twellman is overrated. Just kidding. I love you Revs and I should never ever doubt Stevie Nicol.
BB: Sorry, Revs, but I think this is the year you finally slide into mediocrity (See, I'm addressing the team directly ala Peter King). We can't even blame Khano Smith for this one.
12. What city will be awarded the next MLS franchise?
blast: I'm assuming we're not counting Vancouver, seeing as they were just granted franchise. I'd say Portland, but that's an easy pick. If not Portland than St. Louis.
BB: Besides Vancouver and Portland, which should receive their franchises via UPS sometime within the next 5-8 days, I'd have to guess St. Louis. As for a stupid name, how about "CSKA St. Louis", where CSKA stands for "Can Sure Kick Ass [in]".
13. Will Beckham return to LA in July?
M: Not sure what this question means…Beckham is fully committed to Los Angeles…and Milan…and playing anywhere so he can have a chance to play for England in South Africa next year…and maybe Madrid. The real question is, will Beckhamania writers find a way to write something “new” about David Beckham’s two-club deal, and his intentions about it, every day for the next year?
blast: No. I bet he buys himself out of contract. We shall see though. If he does come back, he's not going to be the player everyone wants him too. At that point he will not have had a break since before the start of the 2008 MLS campaign. Beckham, you're not a young gun anymore.
BB: OMG IF HE DOESN'T I WOULD JUST DIE.
No. Dude needs a break.
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2 comments:
I don't know if anyone else watched it, but my reaction from watching the Sounders tonight is as follows: "Holy shit, they're going to win the West and might have a shot at the title."
Easy now, that was my reaction to the Revs last May, and we all know how THAT turned out.
/didn't watch it
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