Because Soccer Players, John, are Fickle Bitches (THE BIG BEAR'S WEEKEND PREVIEW BONANZA)

In one of this season’s least surprising developments, Manchester United won a trophy. If you weren’t aware, it was the Carling Cup, and they beat Tottenham in the final. Obviously, I was thrilled at this development. What should have been particularly frustrating for me was that, in their cup run (if not in the file), United prominently featured two former Spurs stars in Michael Carrick and Dimitar Berbatov. But frankly, soccer players are fickle bitches, so this is not shocking whatsoever. The bulk of United’s squad likely jumped at the chance to play for the club because “they wanted to win trophies”.

And therein lies the problem. Manchester United, and to a lesser degree, the rest of the big four, attract top players (and bandwagon fans) because they are unbelievably successful. Bringing in top players allows the club to maintain their successes, further attracting other top players, which brings in more trophies, and so on ad infinitum. It’s a pain-in-the-ass mobius strip for non-big four supporters, who see the bulk of their best talent shipped off to more successful teams. As an example, West Ham could have boasted a squad featuring Fredi Kanoute, Jermain Defoe, Frank Lampard, Joe Cole, Michael Carrick, Glen Johnson, and Rio Ferdinand, had these players not abandoned their team for greener pastures. Hell, throw in some current Hammers with these guys and West Ham could easily make a run at the big four. Surely they could have at least won some of the accolades for which they left the club.

Things are so much easier if you just play for United though. At this point, you pretty much just need to show up and everyone loves you and you win everything, ever. Hell, even Kieran Richardson has a Premier League winner’s medal, so how hard can it be? This dangerous precedent means we’re going to be stuck with Man U being at or near the top of the Prem for the next ever.

The Premiership: The world’s most exciting league (If you’re a Manchester United fan)!


There is only one Premiership game this weekend. Beggars can’t be choosers, so you’re stuck watching this one, regardless of the rating I would give it (a 3, by the way).


Sunderland v Tottenham: Saturday, 1000
Word around town is that if Sunderland stay up, manager Ricky Sbragia will finally be given that extra vowel his last name needs.
Prediction: 1-0


Serie A Match of the Week, If You’re into That Sort of Thing

Torino v Juventus: Saturday, 1430
Torino are undefeated in their last seven matches, but haven beaten their neighbors since 1995 and bb;n;;nbbn bwpioytbijowgk.

I fell asleep on my keyboard just thinking about this game. Maybe Claudio Ranieri could spice things up with another racist comment. Seriously, though, what was he thinking? He’s not Spanish!
Prediction: 0-2


La Liga Match of the Week

Real Madrid v Atlético Madrid: Saturday, 1400
Ooh, another derby match. Except this one will probably be entertaining to watch.
Prediction: 3-2


Bundesliga Bundesfuntime Bundesshow

TSG Hoffenheim v Werder Bremen: Saturday, 0930
The Hoff’s dream season is slipping away. Winning one game since the beginning of December will do that. Hey, but at least their nickname around this place pretty much guarantees them popularity in their homeland.
Prediction: 2-2


Completely Unfounded Transfer Rumor

David Beckham will sign with AC Milan when it is shockingly revealed that noone gives a shit.


Totally Bitchin’ Guitar Solo

“Whisky in the Jar” (Pretty much the whole song)
Thin Lizzy
Vagabonds of the Western World


This is what happens when your band has two lead guitars.

Funny Internet Thing

Vanilla Ice's Words of Wisdom

"Have you ever seen a turtle get down? Slammin' and jammin' to the new swing sound?"

The Big Bear’s weekend previews will be posted (almost) every Friday throughout the Premier League season.