To answer your question: Yes, that is Sergio Ramos in blackface.
If you haven’t noticed, Spain have had quite a few sports-related racism issues as of late, from Luis Aragones calling Thierry Henry “black shit” to Atletico Madrid being fined for racist chanting. The nation’s response has seemingly been something to the tune of “Heeeeeey, come on… We’re Spain, guys!” It looks like, for all intents and purposes, the campaign to kick racism out of football has failed miserably in Spain. It is a sorry state of affairs.
So how do we stop the racism? Well, we could impose harsher penalties on clubs for racist chants and the like.
A better solution: Come up with insulting Spanish stereotypes! See how they feel when the shoe is on the other foot!
Unfortunately, the only Spanish things I can think of now are paella and tapas (as I am fat/hungry), which aren’t as insulting, per se, as they are delicious. Surely we can come up with something, though. It’s time for a Manhattan Project for Spanish stereotypes. Get on that, US government.
IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO END RACISM.
Now onto the preview.
This week’s Prem matches are rated on an arbitrary scale based on how interesting they would seem to the general public. This week’s system will be based on…
METALLICA ALBUMS!!!1111
5 (Master of Puppets)
Manchester United v Chelsea: Sunday, 1100
These two high-flying teams will come together like a Ferrari and a concrete barrier.
Too soon?
I’m always worried that intra-big four matchups will end up being played like a cup final, where both teams throw ten men behind the ball and nothing happens until a defender heads the ball into his own net (I’m looking at you, Nemanja Vidic). Prove me wrong guys! PROVE ME WRONG!
Prediction: 1-1
4 (Black Album)
Everton v Hull: Saturday, 1000
Everton are in 6th right now. I have no idea how they do it. I think their entire squad consists of something like 7 guys. David Moyes is a genius.
Meanwhile, Hull have also managed to stay in the top half, solely through the fortitude of Dean Windass’s gigantic old man balls.
Prediction: 3-2
3 (Death Magnetic)
Arsenal v Bolton: Saturday, 1000
Wenger’s post-match press conference will go something like “Whine whine whine zey tried to keeck us off ze field whine whine whine zat is not football,” as it does every time his squad plays a team not called “Arsenal”.
Prediction: 3-0
Wigan v Tottenham: Sunday, 0830
Prediction: 1-0
Aston Villa v West Brom: Saturday, 0745
Villa are an entertaining team. I have no joke here.
Prediction: 4-1
Portsmouth v Manchester City: Saturday, 1000
Money does not win games. Unless you buy good players. Then money definitely wins games (Please ignore the fact that Man City are 2 points above the relegation zone).
Prediction: 1-2
Stoke v Liverpool: Saturday, 1230
Prediction: 0-1
2 (Load)
Fulham v Blackburn: Saturday, 1000
I don’t know about you, but I’ve always thought that Sam Allardyce looked a bit like the dad from the TV show “Dinosaurs”.
Prediction: 2-0
Newcastle v West Ham: Saturday, 1000
Prediction: 2-1
1 (St. Anger)
Middlesbrough v Sunderland: Saturday, 1000
Pogatetz! Chopra! It’s the Tees-Wear derby!
Prediction: 1-1
Serie A Match of the Week, If You’re into That Sort of Thing
AS Roma v AC Milan: Sunday, 1430
These teams are good, right? What!? Roma are in 10th? Well, then. Maybe I was wrong about this matBECKHAMBECKHAMBECKHAMBECKHAM
Prediction: 1-1
La Liga Match of the Week
Valencia v Villareal: Saturday, 1600
Damn you and your New Jersey-born ass, Giuseppi Rossi. You could have been loved here, but instead I have to watch Brian Ching do whatever the hell it is Brian Ching does every time he starts up front for the national team. Have fun struggling to make the Italy squad, jerkass.
Prediction: 3-1
Completely Unfounded Transfer Rumor
Upset at his lack of strike power, Harry Redknapp is also looking to buy back Robbie Keane and Dimitar Berbatov for a combined 60 million pounds.
Totally Bitchin’ Guitar Solo
“One Big Holiday”
My Morning Jacket
It Still Moves
Bitchin’ solo bookends! Wooooo!
Oddly enough, this song was used in the artistic masterpiece Stick It, a movie about some crazy rebel gymnast who does some sort of rebel gymnastics while wearing a Che t-shirt. Oh, and somewhere along the line someone says “It isn’t called gym-nice-tics…”
Jeff Bridges plays the girl’s coach. That’s right, the studio somehow roped the Dude into this piece of garbage as well.
Why yes, I do seem to know a lot about Stick It.
NO, I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS MOVIE. NOW STOP ASKING.
Vanilla Ice’s Words of Wisdom
The Big Bear’s weekend previews will be posted weekly every Thursday or Friday.
If you haven’t noticed, Spain have had quite a few sports-related racism issues as of late, from Luis Aragones calling Thierry Henry “black shit” to Atletico Madrid being fined for racist chanting. The nation’s response has seemingly been something to the tune of “Heeeeeey, come on… We’re Spain, guys!” It looks like, for all intents and purposes, the campaign to kick racism out of football has failed miserably in Spain. It is a sorry state of affairs.
So how do we stop the racism? Well, we could impose harsher penalties on clubs for racist chants and the like.
A better solution: Come up with insulting Spanish stereotypes! See how they feel when the shoe is on the other foot!
Unfortunately, the only Spanish things I can think of now are paella and tapas (as I am fat/hungry), which aren’t as insulting, per se, as they are delicious. Surely we can come up with something, though. It’s time for a Manhattan Project for Spanish stereotypes. Get on that, US government.
IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO END RACISM.
Now onto the preview.
This week’s Prem matches are rated on an arbitrary scale based on how interesting they would seem to the general public. This week’s system will be based on…
METALLICA ALBUMS!!!1111
5 (Master of Puppets)
Manchester United v Chelsea: Sunday, 1100
These two high-flying teams will come together like a Ferrari and a concrete barrier.
Too soon?
I’m always worried that intra-big four matchups will end up being played like a cup final, where both teams throw ten men behind the ball and nothing happens until a defender heads the ball into his own net (I’m looking at you, Nemanja Vidic). Prove me wrong guys! PROVE ME WRONG!
Prediction: 1-1
4 (Black Album)
Everton v Hull: Saturday, 1000
Everton are in 6th right now. I have no idea how they do it. I think their entire squad consists of something like 7 guys. David Moyes is a genius.
Meanwhile, Hull have also managed to stay in the top half, solely through the fortitude of Dean Windass’s gigantic old man balls.
Prediction: 3-2
3 (Death Magnetic)
Arsenal v Bolton: Saturday, 1000
Wenger’s post-match press conference will go something like “Whine whine whine zey tried to keeck us off ze field whine whine whine zat is not football,” as it does every time his squad plays a team not called “Arsenal”.
Prediction: 3-0
Wigan v Tottenham: Sunday, 0830
Prediction: 1-0
Aston Villa v West Brom: Saturday, 0745
Villa are an entertaining team. I have no joke here.
Prediction: 4-1
Portsmouth v Manchester City: Saturday, 1000
Money does not win games. Unless you buy good players. Then money definitely wins games (Please ignore the fact that Man City are 2 points above the relegation zone).
Prediction: 1-2
Stoke v Liverpool: Saturday, 1230
Prediction: 0-1
2 (Load)
Fulham v Blackburn: Saturday, 1000
I don’t know about you, but I’ve always thought that Sam Allardyce looked a bit like the dad from the TV show “Dinosaurs”.
Prediction: 2-0
Newcastle v West Ham: Saturday, 1000
Prediction: 2-1
1 (St. Anger)
Middlesbrough v Sunderland: Saturday, 1000
Pogatetz! Chopra! It’s the Tees-Wear derby!
Prediction: 1-1
Serie A Match of the Week, If You’re into That Sort of Thing
AS Roma v AC Milan: Sunday, 1430
These teams are good, right? What!? Roma are in 10th? Well, then. Maybe I was wrong about this matBECKHAMBECKHAMBECKHAMBECKHAM
Prediction: 1-1
La Liga Match of the Week
Valencia v Villareal: Saturday, 1600
Damn you and your New Jersey-born ass, Giuseppi Rossi. You could have been loved here, but instead I have to watch Brian Ching do whatever the hell it is Brian Ching does every time he starts up front for the national team. Have fun struggling to make the Italy squad, jerkass.
Prediction: 3-1
Completely Unfounded Transfer Rumor
Upset at his lack of strike power, Harry Redknapp is also looking to buy back Robbie Keane and Dimitar Berbatov for a combined 60 million pounds.
Totally Bitchin’ Guitar Solo
“One Big Holiday”
My Morning Jacket
It Still Moves
Bitchin’ solo bookends! Wooooo!
Oddly enough, this song was used in the artistic masterpiece Stick It, a movie about some crazy rebel gymnast who does some sort of rebel gymnastics while wearing a Che t-shirt. Oh, and somewhere along the line someone says “It isn’t called gym-nice-tics…”
Jeff Bridges plays the girl’s coach. That’s right, the studio somehow roped the Dude into this piece of garbage as well.
Why yes, I do seem to know a lot about Stick It.
NO, I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS MOVIE. NOW STOP ASKING.
Vanilla Ice’s Words of Wisdom
“Drop that zero and get with the hero.”
The Big Bear’s weekend previews will be posted weekly every Thursday or Friday.
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1 comment:
While Christmas shopping, I saw a DVD of "Stick It" waiting in line at a Best Buy. The gym-nice-tics line was the tag line on the front cover. Naturally.
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